A Twisted Smouldering Wreckage that Was a Fantasy
by Autumnoxe
Summary: The arrival of Penny puts Sheldon's ideal relationship with his roommate in danger.
1. Chapter 1

Fandom: The Big Bang Theory  
>Pairing: Sheldon Cooper  Leonard Hofstadter  
>Rating: T, to be sure.<br>Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst  
>Disclaimer: I do not own The Big Bang Theory or the characters, script or anything else related to it.<br>A/N: The events of this story overlap with the episode three of the first season, The Fuzzy Boots Corollary. Excerpts from the script are also from the aforementioned episode. Furthermore, this is my first published fanfic here, so try to be nice. Comments and feedback are generously appreciated!

Part I

"_Please don't tell me that your hopeless infatuation is devolving into pointless jealousy."_  
>"<em>No, I'm not jealous, I'm just a little concerned for her. I didn't like the look of the guy that she was with."<em>  
>"<em>Because he looked better than you?"<em>  
>"<em>Yeah. He was kinda…dreamy."<em>

For Howard and Raj, who were hanging out in their apartment and trying to recover from the 97-hour online gaming session which Sheldon had effectively and abruptly brought to an end just a moment before, Leonard's words had merely gone in one ear and out of the other.

Sheldon sighed emphatically. Leonard's words sounded precisely the kind of unnecessary chitchat he would already expect his roommate's seemingly sluggish and inattentive mind-set to produce. But Sheldon himself knew precisely what Leonard's brain was working on when he was depicting Penny's alleged partner as _dreamy_.

Nevertheless, that was not the main contributory factor in Leonard's utterance upsetting Sheldon so thoroughly. Obviously, he knew that Leonard was not being serious; his roommate was not into the type of men Penny favoured for her primitive social intentions – intimidatingly tall, physically well-built and horrendously uneducated creatures who would not take interest in an elementary-level physics textbook even if it sneaked up on them and playfully tickled them in the groin (something he personally liked to execute on Leonard; he obviously liked it, so why wouldn't he?).

However, he was, in fact, the only person to whom Leonard had ever entrusted his most well-kept secret – his hidden fondness for men, which Leonard himself regarded as another shameful imperfection in his despicable existence. During all the years spent living under the same roof in accordance with the strict principles defined in magnificent Roommate Agreement, which Sheldon had carefully fashioned when Leonard was moving in, he had learnt to know his best friend in ways other people were not aware of.

And now Leonard was not only babbling on about the blonde next door, whose recent appearance in their dwelling place had only wreaked unnecessary emotional havoc, but also about her _dreamy _male companion as well! _That_ was bothering him. The sudden and unexpected surge of emotional turmoil in the endearingly inattentive mind of his roommate, evoked by the recent arrival of Penny the actress-slash-waitress, made Sheldon feel very uncomfortable. Not only was it completely superfluous to more important matters at hand, but also intimidating.

He felt threatened. His ideal and well-crafted relationship with his closest friend was at stake here.

At night, when darkness had already fallen over 2311 Los Robles, Pasadena, Sheldon lay in his bed awake. Despite his strict and well-planned bedtime schedule, he was not able to fall sleep.

His eidetic memory kept tormenting him with vivid and persistent memories of all the nightly moments he had shared with Leonard in his room on the other side of the wall – lying together beneath the cobalt blue sheets of his bed, holding Leonard close in his arms while Leonard's tears fell down on his bare chest as he slowly and quietly cried himself to sleep. Maybe another woman had turned him down, perhaps another date with one had once again gone down in flames or he was possibly anguished of not having either a woman or a date – it didn't matter; he was there for him. Always.

The nearness of his naked body against his, the innocent look of his dark tear-shedding eyes, the warmth of his teardrops against his skin… Just the thought of losing those precious intimate moments sent shivers down his spine.

In spite of possessing an IQ of 187, Sheldon was still a human being, no matter how much he insisted on constantly objecting to it. Occasionally, he too longed for the comfort and intimacy of fundamental human interaction, and experiencing it with his closest friend was, unquestionably, the only reasonable option for him.

"_I have noticed that Lesley Winkle recently started shaving her legs. Now, given that winter is coming one can only assume that she is signalling sexual availability."_

The pleasant images of mind were shot down by a comment he had offered to Leonard earlier in the day. Sheldon berated himself for making such a petty remark of Leslie Winkle's suggestive behaviour, which he had only committed in order to take part in the conversation provoked by Howard and Raj – he hated it when he was about to be left out on a topic even if it was about interpreting human behaviour (which certainly was not among his strongest areas), especially with Howard and Raj. Nevertheless, that had obviously been a crucial mistake – he had only galvanised Leonard into asking Winkle-the-wannabe-physicist for a date in the future. "Why on Earth did I have to suggest him that? This might even lead to appalling consequences of its own."

"_Well, at least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted smouldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her, and analyse the data so that you don't crash into geek mountain again."_

He did not even believe in his own words anymore. At this rate, _he_ would be the one to undergo a complete friendship meltdown with his beloved roommate and experience an exponentially strengthening wave of unbearable agony while evaluating the data of his own black box as the questionable basis for continuing his existence without the support of Leonard.

Suddenly, Sheldon became distracted as he heard quiet sobbing from the other side of the wall.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part II**

He had not misheard. Leonard was already crying quietly in his room. Judging from the suppressed but perceivable intensity of Leonard's sobs reaching his hearing, Sheldon quickly concluded that the likelihood for Leonard to adjust the sobbing volume to it on purpose was considerably high. This would not be the first time, either, when Leonard had made use of his nasolacrimal ducts to invite his roommate to comfort him.

The muffled sounds of Leonard's sobs kept coming from the other side of the thin wall as Sheldon kept contemplating between giving in to his uncontainable desire to get up and knock on Leonard's door, offering him the kind of consolation only he was capable of giving, and staying in his room and attempting to ignore his roommate's distressed state. On the one hand, Sheldon could feel his friend's emotional pain which he strove to relieve, and on the other, he felt that Leonard, having struggled in his irrelevant Penny-related emotional maelstrom for a considerable amount of time now, had simultaneously been neglecting his best friend. He did not really deserve his attention this time.

"_Penny…_"

That was it. He could hear Leonard whispering her name amidst his tears. That crossed the line for him. Even if he wasn't going to offer him any kind of consolation tonight, at least he would go and ask him to keep quiet so that he would get even a little sleep in order to stay awake at work next day. He did not want to end up scribbling the name of a certain Nebraskan waitress amidst mathematical formulas to his sketchboard at the university after a sleepless night.  
>"<em>Being the least plausible candidate to digest it, why am I always the one to be dragged into all this senseless social upheaval?<em>" He whispered to himself out loud.

Sheldon collected himself and carefully tiptoed to the hallway.

Knock-knock-knock. "Leonard."  
>Knock-knock-knock. "<em>Leonard<em>."

To his surprise, he did not have to proceed to the final subsequent knocking series. The door was opened almost immediately – a promising sign. Leonard's self-conscious figure appeared from the dimness of his room.

"What is it now, Sheldon?"

Leonard eyes were reddish from crying, and his whole figure appeared to be dispirited and crestfallen. For some uncomfortably abnormal reason, Sheldon was attracted to it – Leonard's depressed look on his face… his short but balanced body dressed in nothing but basic underwear, his thick-framed glasses and the hysterically-patterned vermilion-red robe… the dark and glistening eyes – as if it was irresistibly calling for Sheldon.

"I'm… I'm assuming that you could use some company there."

"Sheldon, just leave me alone and go aw…"

"I don't think so, little fella", Sheldon interrupted. Leonard gave him a slightly baffled look. "We need to talk."

Leonard was perplexed. "Did it ever occur to you that I might not be in the mood for socialising right now?"

"On the contrary – based on my cursory examination of the volume of your behind-the-wall utterances and your current state, your words only reinforce my previous impression of you in a dire need of social peer support."

"Oh god…"

"Affirmative."

Another walk-over argument for Sheldon – Leonard heaved an audible sigh and retreated back to his dimly-lit room. Sheldon followed close behind. Leonard sat on his bed, put his glasses aside and buried his head in his hands, sighing heavily once again. Sheldon sat down next to him, maintaining a comfortable distance to his friend regulated by the apparent social etiquette which otherwise was such an indistinct concept for him.

Not a single word was said for a few minutes. Sheldon assumed that his friend might want to spend a moment calming down before embarking on any kind of discussion. After some time passed, Sheldon decided to initiate the conversation with a semi-rhetorical question.

"Do I even need to enquire you about the reasons for your recent depression?"

"No, but I'm sure talking about them would only make you feel equally uncomfortable about yourself."

His roommate was right. Asking Leonard to share his heaviness of heart would only make him feel guilty about it, because he was partly to blame.

Sheldon did not respond to his friend's words. Instead, Leonard went on.

"I can't stand this anymore. She's the only thing that revolves in my mind day and night. And now she's obviously seeing someone else already! I've lost my chance before I even really had it in the first place…"

"_Lenny."_

Leonard recoiled at the sound of the nickname Sheldon had given him a long time ago – a nickname he used very rarely.

Sheldon could see a glistening teardrop in Leonard's eye. Without the usual stereotypically thick-framed highbrow glasses, he could look directly into his eyes, into those beautiful dark eyes. His roommate looked so kind and sincere, warm-hearted and… handsome. In fact, Leonard seemed to bear the essential definition of handsomeness. He was the only fellow creature of his species Sheldon had ever considered handsome – and at this rate, would probably ever consider.

Sheldon could not resist the temptation and raised his hand, gently touching Leonard's soft and slightly bristly cheek and carefully wiping the teardrop out from his eyebrow. Leonard grabbed his hand but did not try to resist him.

"_Shelly_…"

"Always talking about the Nebraskan, you are, hmmm", Sheldon sneered, imitating Yoda. Leonard smiled.

"Jealous are you, hmmm?" Leonard replied and squinted, spotting a little grin on his otherwise despondent face. "Jealous are you, hmm, because I said his friend was _dreamy_?"

Sheldon smiled, trying to regain his serious face, even though it was impossible for him by now.

"Don't beat about the bush, Leonard. No, I'm not jealous because of that, for I understand very well that he's not the one you're after here."

"Shelly, I'm sorry. Look at me. Here I am, going nuts over her, while you worry so much about me forgetting you…"

"It's alright, Lenny. I know you haven't forgotten me, even though that corn-fed waitress-slash-actress is the only person you ever seem to think about these days."

They sat in consoling silence for some time.

"Lenny. Why don't you do what you said earlier today", Sheldon said, feeling somewhat insecure about his words. "Go and ask Leslie Winkle for a date tomorrow. It'll take your mind off her for a while."

Leonard turned to him, looking slightly surprised.

"You know what. I am going to do it. I _am_ going to ask her for a date tomorrow."

"Alright. I will let you, then. _If_…"

"If what?"

"…_If _you promise me that you won't forsake me."

Leonard looked him in a way that was both amused and somewhat relieved at the same time.

"How could I ever forsake you? How could I ever forsake my dear _Shelly_…"

"You _can't_. You _won't_ – it's defined in the Agreement. Please don't abandon me, Leonard, you _can't_ abandon me, not for her, not for Leslie Winkle, not for anyone–"

Sheldon was starting to sound like a child, even though he wasn't aware of it himself, but Leonard interrupted him by scooping him quickly but gently in his arms.

"_Shelly_, I will never abandon you, because I love you too much", Leonard whispered into his ear.

Sheldon turned to him and pressed his lips against Leonard's.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: Petrichor7, thank you for the wonderful review. Being the first review I ever recieved, it was very encouraging and helpful - and it made my day.  
>Anyway, chapter three, here we go.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>P<strong>**art III**

After midnight, Leonard lay in his bed, holding his friend tight beneath the familiar cobalt-blue sheets. Amidst the all-embracing silence, nightly birds were cooing gently on the other side of the window.

This is how it always was – Sheldon falling slowly asleep in the arms of his roommate who was considerably shorter in height, leaving the end of Sheldon's feet outside the bed frame, while Leonard stayed awake for a while longer, thinking about anything that happened to cross his mind.

He kept thinking about the tender embraces of his friend and the passionate kisses he had shared with him a moment before. He reimagined himself running his fingers on Sheldon's naked body – touching his firm chest, those strong arms and those lovely pointy cheekbones, finally running his fingers through his boyishly short hair that was so beautiful in its austerity, nothing compared to his pile of curls that verged on a complete meltdown equivalent to a supernova explosion every morning after shower.  
>He thought about his words when he had confessed that he might have neglected his friend and when he had assured him time and time again that he would not abandon his friend over anyone – be it Penny, Leslie Winkle or even The Flash offering him a job as his sidekick. He recalled the way how he had once asked Sheldon over French Toastday breakfast whether they should be real lovers instead of roommates and how Sheldon had only smiled, tenderly touching his cheek, saying <em>"Now, now, Lenny, let's not torment our magnificently gifted brains with such trifles, shall we?" <em>

Thinking about all those memories with his Shelly made him feel that he could burst into tears again. But he had cried enough for the night. Sheldon had helped him to forget everything that hurt him for a moment.

Leonard craned forward a little to see his friend's serene face. Sheldon was fast asleep – a childish virtuoso physicist roommate of his who could be unbelievably annoying at worst and like a little angel at his best, like he was now, sleeping calmly in his arms.

Shelly was the one permanent thing in his life otherwise filled with nothing but irregularities. Whenever his life had once again spat on his face, forcing him to pull a theatrical headfirst plunge onto the living-room couch, he could soon feel Shelly sitting next to him, patting him in the shoulder with the usual "_There, there._" Even though his roommate occasionally drove him to the brink of insanity with his amazingly inadequate social skills and the perpetual quirks of a child-like genius, he would not be able to imagine his life without him. Shelly would always be there, like the first rays of the sun rising from the east every morning – the one thing to count on.

And then he finally fell asleep with his dear friend in his arms.

* * *

><p>In the small hours of the morning, Sheldon, still lying in his roommate's arms, woke up. Lifting Leonard's arms carefully to his sides, he rose up as quietly as possible to sit on the side of the bed. This is how he invariably woke up next to Lenny. Dawn would soon break over California, and his well-arranged morning routine did not include specifications for waking up in someone else's bed – even in Lenny's, which was as familiar to him as his own. His impeccably well-planned daily schedule, however, had never encompassed the nightly moments spent in the comfort of his roommate's arms, either, even though he had found himself tip-toeing into Leonard's room at night an on ever-increasing basis as time progressed. It was irrational; he was being illogical, which was an apparent flaw, but it felt too right.<p>

Lying in bed, getting his breath back after making love with Leonard, Sheldon had tried to apologise – something he was almost compelled to do on a subconscious level, even though he was not even quite sure whether he was the one to be apologising to anyone in the first place. Struggling to find the right words, he wasn't quite sure what he was actually apologising to Leonard or how we was attempting to proceed with it, but Leonard had only put his finger on his lips and shushed. "_Don't apologise to me for being what you are, Shelly_", he had said, spotting a squinty smile. Like always, his closest friend had understood it all. What were the odds for him to ever find another person like him?

Getting up and leaving the room, Sheldon turned back to watch his sleeping friend. Seeing his chest rising and falling in phase with his calm and steady breathing, Sheldon thought that Lenny had to be the one and only irrationality of his life – the obligatory but so necessary part of his everyday life he could not survive without. Even with all the calculus, physics, organisation and formulas that filled his life, Lenny's undeniable significance in it could not be explained by any rational way.

And what was life without a few carefully cherry-picked exceptions anyway?

Even though he had been reassured to hear once more that Lenny would not give his best friend up even if one of his favourite comic book characters passed over Sheldon in favour of Lenny, offering him Sheldon's personal dreamjob, Sheldon could not help feeling a little nail of emotion burrowing his head. It demanded to know whether Leonard had actually meant his words or was he only saying that so Sheldon would not feel so uncomfortable inside. He wanted to believe his friend. Lenny was the only person in the world he could always rely on, no matter what.

Sheldon wondered whether Leonard was having dreams. He sighed when the thought of Penny's possible presence in them crossed his mind. He knew that it was nonsensical. But he could not help it.

"_Oh, Lenny."_

"_How long will you still want me to want you?"_

And then he sighed again, sneaking to the hall and closing the door quietly behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part IV**

Leonard opened his eyes to see the early shafts of sunlight glinting on his bed. Being virtually blind without glasses, he scrabbled about with his arm around his sides to ensure that Sheldon had already gotten up before him. Leonard would have been worried if he had still felt his roommate next to him – that would have violated all the rules of his morning schedule.  
>Leonard got up, sweeping back some of the most rebellious curls from his forehead. He threw on his vermilion-red robe and stepped into the kitchen. The aroma of freshly-cooked coffee filled the air – Sheldon was already making breakfast and humming quietly to himself, setting the island table with crispy-toasted bread, apricot jam and unhealthy marshmallow cereal galore.<p>

Leonard was amazed. He could barely remember the last time his roommate had even bothered to put the coffee maker on for him. "_When was the last time I saw him in such a good mood, I wonder?_"

"Morning, Shelly." Leonard said briskly.

Sheldon turned around, looking exhilarated. "Well, good morning to you, Mr Leonard Hofstadter, P.h.D by a whisker – already up, preparing yourself to mesmerise all the female physicists of the department with the splendid formula of handsomeness, are we?"

Leonard was, if possible, now even more astonished. "Shelly, what's all this about…"

"Still dwelling in drowsiness, are we?" Sheldon continued to tease him. "Well, in case you still consider your sight deceiving you at this early hour, let me present you the most bountiful way imaginable to fuel up your important day – Sheldon Cooper's breakfast buffet! Now, grab a bowl and start filling up; you don't want to wind up enchanting Leslie Winkle with an empty stomach."

"_Right._"

After all the years spent as roommates and more, Leonard considered knowing his roommate already inside out, but Sheldon apparently never ceased to catch him by surprise. He was not quite sure what this was all about – Sheldon was either trying to make amends for something that happened last night, which was endearing as such but for which he certainly had no reason to, or then he was genuinely attempting to prepare him for his meeting with Leslie Winkle, which seemed less likely.

Unwilling to risk anything with his friend after the night, Leonard chose to let it go. "Shelly, you shouldn't have to… All this for me?"

"Oh, don't be silly, Leonard – like I ever assumed you could eat all this food with your midget metabolism! Not to mention the likelihood of you being blatantly nervous and out of appetite before meeting up with Leslie Winkle! I couldn't possibly allow all this work to be wasted – Leonard and Raj are coming over to breakfast on this nourishing feast of dawn – I called them up, even though both sounded exceedingly grumpy on the phone – I wonder _why_; morning is by far the most splendid time of the day, there should be no need to get all shouted up about _a bad timing_…"

Sheldon rambled on and on, and Leonard stopped paying attention to his words. He loved it so much when his Shelly got really excited about his trivialities – it was like watching a nine-year-old doing a school presentation.

"…_Lenny._" Leonard heard an emphatic sneer. This time Sheldon had caught him lapsing into his thoughts. "Just take a seat and eat your cereal."

"Okay", Leonard said with a squinty smile and sat down.

Sheldon was washing up in the kitchen, still humming to himself, while Leonard was finishing his breakfast with Howard and Raj by the living-room table. Sheldon had not certainly failed to surprise his other two friends on that morning, either.

"Look, he even chose to serve the marshmallow cereals – from the extreme end of the fibre scale!" Raj remarked. "I've lived in this country long enough to understand both his scale and the American self-deception with refined carbohydrates! What's going on here?"

"I can see that – only the unhealthily low-fibre chocolate crunch would top that", Howard replied, pointing to the row of cereal boxes on top of the fridge. "Are you really sure that everything's fine, Leonard?"

Leonard felt a prick of conscience coming up.

"Yeah, everything's fine… He's just… really happy about a recent _advancement_ in… in one of his research projects, yeah that's it – physics research. Howard, you shouldn't overload your engineer's brain with that."

Raj laughed while Howard took a morose glance at them. Leonard was a terrible liar, but the usual mockery of Howard's Master's Thesis had saved him once again.

Leonard felt guilty. _"How I wish I could be honest about everything with them – just once_."

Raj spooned up the last marshmallows of his breakfast bowl and turned to Leonard. "So, big day coming, huh? Finally going to make your move on the femme fatale of experimental physics?"

"It's not a big deal, anyway, and what's up with the _femme fatale_?"

"Yeah, there's a word going around that she's a real heartbreaker, Leonard", Howard said. "Watch your back."

"I'm sure it'll be fine – I've known her for a long time, and she seems easy-going. And what can I lose here, really?"

Leonard and Raj submerged themselves in a fiery debate considering comparative study of personal experiences with broken hearts, while Leonard turned around, looking at Sheldon who was drying the dishes.

"_By doing it, is there something I actually didn't put in danger here?_"

Raj and Howard had already left the flat, while Leonard and Sheldon were packing their shoulder-bags for the upcoming workday. Sheldon was already opening the front door, when Leonard tugged at his coat sleeve.

"By the way, Shelly…", Leonard said.

"What is it, Lenny?"

"Wish me luck."

Sheldon sneered. "Oh, I don't think luck will have anything to do with the results, but if you insist – I wish you luck with your romantic endeavours, Lenny."

"Thanks.

Sheldon looked quickly behind his back to the hall to make sure it was empty and gave Leonard a quick but intimate kiss.

Leonard sighed. And then the boys left the flat.

* * *

><p>"<em>Oh, I've seen that look before. This is just going to be two weeks of moping and tedious emo songs, and calling me to come down to pet stores to look at cats. I don't know if I can take it."<em>

Having briefly depicted to his friends the unsuccessful attempt at luring Leslie Winkle into dating him as an incident which had not moved the Earth more than it was going to in any case, Leonard had rushed into his room, slamming the door behind him. Sheldon could see that he was already holding back his tears.

The woman had coldheartedly rejected him – or that's what seemed to have happened. Sheldon already despised that woman for callously bringing down his best friend when he was obviously exhibiting one of his weakest moments. His Lenny did not deserve this. Besides, all the effort he had made in the morning to encourage Leonard had been nothing but in vain.

But the worst was what the future would eventually bring. He had witnessed this before. He already foresaw how things would turn out to be after this.

"_I don't know if I can take it."_

His perfect relationship with his dear Lenny was already slipping through his fingers in front of his eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

****A/N: ****Petrichor7, thanks again for the wonderful review! It's time for the fifth and, sadly, the last chapter of this story. I hope that you've had as much fun reading it as I've had writing it – and that's a lot! Anyway, the fifth chapter, here we go.

* * *

><p><strong>Part V<strong>

The fateful Friday evening progressed, and darkness was already falling over 2311 Los Robles. Leonard had not left his room once. Howard and Raj had already gone home to embark on their respective Friday night pastimes – console games and Bollywood film sprees – and Sheldon, while saying goodbye to his friends, had promised to talk to Leonard when he could – he was eager to do much more than talking with him to cheer him up even a little, but Howard and Raj did not need to know about that.

Sheldon was distressed. He had walked past Leonard's door in steady intervals during the evening, but the situation remained the same – he could only hear a muffled sound of a banal torch song, which, after the ninth check on the door, had become alarmingly appealing even in his ears. Sheldon was really worried. There had been times when Leonard had undergone some real hardships, but he had never locked himself to his room like this before; flopping headfirst to the couch had always been the subtle invitation for Sheldon to act like a true friend should. This time, however, he was at loss for prepared action patterns. His friend couldn't go on like this forever.

For the first time in his life, Sheldon knew he had no choice but to act on instinct. He tiptoed clumsily to Leonard's door, even though the annoyingly high-pitched voice of the male singer, which was still rambling on about going to Boston and starting a new life there, easily buried out his steps. When Sheldon was standing directly behind Leonard's door, he decided to act.

"_Abandon all hope ye who enter here?_"  
>"<em>NOT<em>."

Knock-knock-knock.  
>"Leonard. Please talk to me. Leon..."<p>

The door was opened slightly before he even got to finish saying Leonard's name the second time – Leonard's face appeared in the chink of the door, startling Sheldon. If Leonard had looked depressed and weepy when he had opened the door just a day before, this time it was worse than that. Leonard had been crying again, but now he looked almost completely emotionless – as if he had been drained out of all the feelings he had been struggling with for the past days, with only a hollow shell remaining.

"_Lenny?"_

"Tell me, Sheldon–" Leonard said quietly. "What's wrong with me?"

"I'm not quite sure what you're implying with that, Lenny." Sheldon said anxiously.

"I'm not good enough."

"No."

"Yes. I'm doomed. I'm hopeless."

"No."

"In my life, I've been systematically turned down by every single woman I've had the courage _or _the stupidity to be interested in – and then, I finally seem to have met the one that I've been dreaming of – and she politely rejects me! And _then_, I'm desperate enough to even go for the consolation prize, and what happens? She treats my fondness for her as a scientific experiment! This is it – I can't take this anymore – I give up."

"_No._"

Sheldon's determined tone surprised Leonard.

"That's not true, Lenny. You're a wonderful, caring man, and anyone in this world would be exceptionally fortunate to have a man like you."

"Then why haven't I met any of those people by now?"

The conversation was already heading to the path of disaster.

"Please let me come in, Lenny."

"And why do _you_ care?"

"I think there's no need for me to expand on that – because you're wrong, Lenny."

"You're lying."

"_No._"

"Why are you always tormenting me like this?"

"I'm not!"

"Leave me alone! I don't need your pity!"

"_No_", Sheldon said mechanically.

"I said, _leave me alone!"_

"_NO!"_

"You just want to take advantage of the situation as usual, don't you? Seeing me like this, acting so pathetic and devastated, you must be already thinking about what could and most likely would happen next, aren't you? And I'm hopeless enough to always fall for your sick little games, Sheldon! You can't even bear to stay with me through the night – in the morning, you're always gone! Does making love to _me_ make you feel that bad about yourself?"

Sheldon was now starting feel really angry.

"Leonard. Don't do this to me_."_

"But that's what I am! I'm just a devastated, pathetic, little sad man who's not good enough for anyone! Not for Penny, not for Leslie, not for all the rest, not even for_ you_ – NOT FOR ANYONE!"

"LEONARD!"

Sheldon's shout echoed around the flat. Leonard burst to tears, covering his face with his hands. Sheldon could not stand it – hearing Leonard's heartbreaking cries, he could feel his nasolacrimal ducts overflowing with liquid transforming into teardrops that were now flowing on his face.

"Shelly, I'm so sorry…"

"Oh Lenny! _I'm_ sorry!"

And then they had engaged in a warm embrace, kissing each other passionately – and about what happened next, they later had no certain memory of.

* * *

><p>For the first time, Sheldon was now holding Leonard in his arms – an unprecedented but surprisingly pleasant alternative. Making love to Leonard had never felt like that before – this time, he hadn't merely been trying to comfort his friend, because he had needed Leonard as much as his best friend had needed him. For the first time, they had been equal, and that was new for him.<p>

Leonard turned to him.

"Shelly…What has become of us?"

"I don't know, Lenny… But I don't want to act like this anymore."

"Neither do I."

A moment passed by in silence.

"Are you still sad, Lenny?"

"I am – but not in the same way anymore."

"Well, you shouldn't be, because I'm certain that those women will grow to be embittered female icicles in the future, because they will regret the day they turned you down for the rest of their lives.

"You really think so?" Leonard said, squinting.

"And Lenny… There are two things in my mind that I really need to say to you now."

"What?"

Leonard could see tears in Sheldon's eyes.

"Lenny… When I was talking about the black box of the twisted smouldering wreckage of your make-believe love life, I shouldn't have said that – it was cruel." Sheldon said, with a trembling voice.

"_Shelly…_"

"No, that's the truth! I'm… I'm the one who's the wreckage here! I'm incapable of producing all those feelings everyone is expecting me to; I never feel comfortable near anyone else except you, and I'm even unable to treat you right…"

"No, Shelly. You're _innocent_."

"Innocent?"

"The world hasn't managed to ruin you with its disappointments, because you're too strong – your feelings are so pure and genuine; you're my little angel, Shelly."

They kissed.

"And the second thing", Sheldon said, faltering.

"Tell me, Shelly."

"Lenny, should you ever return to examine the contents of the black box of _any_ twisted smouldering wreckage of yours, I want you to know that I'll be part of it, whether you wanted or not."

"Shelly, you don't need to…"

"No, Lenny, let me finish! I've wanted to say this to you for so long – whatever you're planning to or going to face in the future, I want you to know that I'm going to be there, because that's how I feel about you."

Leonard was lost for words.

"Because –", Sheldon repeated, this time imitating a West Coast rapper. "_If that ain't looove, then I don't know what love is_."

Leonard burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Penny must have had MTV on when they had gone to borrow some baking powder for Sheldon's home-made kitchen experiments – the only plausible explanation for Sheldon's apparent knowledge regarding the lyrics of _Cupid's Chokehold._

"Lenny?" Sheldon tried to ask his friend over his laughter. "Was it funny? Did I say it right? I've been secretly practising it for days, waiting for the right moment – Lenny?"

Leonard managed to calm down.

"It was as perfect as it gets… But wait – did you just say that you love me?"

"To put it this way, Leonard – could it possibly be more obvious?"

Leonard smiled, and Sheldon embraced him.

"You know that I love you too, Shelly."

"Are you still depressed, Lenny?"

"A little. But I know it'll go away soon."

" I know what will cheer you up – Howard talked about taking us to a salsa class tomorrow – I don't want to, but because of you, I have to."

"Really?"

Sheldon seemed exited. "I've already done a little research on the history of Latin dances – did you know that salsa has its roots in Cuban _Son_, a popular music style in 1920's Cuba, which transformed into a worldwide phenomenon during the next decade, and…"

Leonard smiled. Maybe there was still hope after all.

**The End**

* * *

><p>That's it – feedback, comments, reviews, anyone? :) I know it could have been better if I had put some more though to it, but I think it's quite decent for a debut.<p>

And Happy New Year to everyone! Sheldon says: Live long and prosper. ;)


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